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Hanalei Souza

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12/10/2015

My greatest fear

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​“The twerking monster is very scary and has no eyes. It comes if you twerk too much and you will really regret it!”
 
I worked with children from Kindergarten through 3rd grade, and one day, one of them decided to corrupt the others and teach them how to twerk. And I had to deal with this. So I came up with the brilliant idea of the twerking monster.
Picture
“He hasn’t come for me yet!” said one of the first graders.
 
“That’s because you’re not doing it correctly. This is how you do it!” Said a third grader.
 
I put him on timeout before he could start doing anything.
 
Then another first grader (who was secretly one of my favorites) came up to me and asked in all sincerity if the twerking monster was real. I told him it was very real, and very scary, and that’s why he shouldn’t twerk. Then he said,
 
“Well I’m not afraid of anything!”
 
“Really, nothing at all?”
 
And that’s when I started to get deep.  I suddenly wondered, what is my greatest fear? I had never really thought of that. I sat and stared into space until it came to me. And that’s what inspired this poem…
 
Everyone’s scared of something.
What about me?
What do I fear above all?
So I sat and thought,
And stared into space.
And suddenly it came to me.
What if I don’t face my fears?
What if 70 years from today
I wish I had taken more risks?
Set higher goals?
Failed more?
Been terrified more?
It’s not the risks I fear,
But rather the risks I don’t take.
I don’t fear failure
I fear success at things that don’t matter
I fear my comfort zone
Not leaving it, staying cozy.
On the surface I feat getting hurt
But deep down I fear a safe life.
I fear plateau,
Lowered standards,
Opportunities missed,
Moments that could have been
Dreams broken by timidity.
Fear was made to prevent death
But in reality,
Doesn’t it just prevent life?
 

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